“One who desires to obtain reconciliation with God and with the Church, must confess to a priest all the unconfessed grave sins he remembers after having carefully examined his conscience. The confession of venial faults, without being necessary in itself, is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church.” (CCC 1493)
Every Lent for the past ten years my bishop, Most Rev. Arthur Serratelli, has mandated that all churches and chapels in the Diocese of Paterson have the Sacrament of Penance available every Monday night from 7:00-8:30 p.m. This is in addition to any other regular time set aside for the sacrament (usually Saturday afternoons). I think this a stroke of pastoral genius on the part of Bishop Serratelli, and he should be thanked for it for several reasons.
First, the need to return to Penance, especially during Lent. Since we, as Catholics, must receive Holy Communion at least once a year, and that during the Easter season, what better way to prepare than through weekly confession?
Second, one can’t use the “I-don’t-have-time-on-Saturday-afternoons-for-confession” defense. And if you read any church bulletin closely, in addition to the confession times on Saturdays, there is usually added “or any time by appointment”. And in the Diocese of Paterson at least, we have Monday nights, too.
Third, as one priest once said: “Think of going to confession once a week like doing your dirty laundry: if you don’t do your laundry at least once every two weeks, your entire closet starts to smell. The same is true of our souls.”
But most important, for those who have been away from the Sacrament of Penance, this is the best way to get back into it. As anyone who has been to a twelve-step meeting will tell you, the hardest part is that first step— that step through the door and into the actual meeting. The same is true of the tribunal of confession. Once you are there you will realize that, despite your sins, failings, bad habits and long time away from Penance, the roof of the Church is not going to fall down on you. Nor is the priest going to “yell” at you in the confessional. Nor will you spontaneously combust due to the weight of your sins.
Just the opposite is true: the very act of confessing is incredibly liberating. It is, of course, much more than that, too—but that initial feeling of the weight of sin being gone is so freeing that, once you begin your confession, it feels better, and you feel better.
True, prayer is not a “feeling”. And it is true too, that a proper examination of conscience is crucial to a good confession—though I hesitate to put too much weight on it if you’ve been away a very long time. The very thought of all those sins may be the devil’s defense of keeping you out of the confessional due to shame (which is a twisted form of pride, a truly diabolical trick).
Once you’re in the confessional, remember this: the priest is there to help you make a good confession. While this is not as easy as “just showing up”, it is vital that you overcome the shame, the fear, the deep-seated pride that has kept you away from Reconciliation.