The director of the Catholic Center for Studies and Media in Jordan advises against religious conversion for commonplace reasons such as marriage, without such a decision arising out of personal conviction. He also stresses that there are more factors that unite Jordan's Christians and Muslims than those which divide them. He suggests focusing efforts on key activities such as changing school curricula -- rather than heralding Jordanian society as the most positive and influential in the region.
Fr. Rif'at Bader
Amman
Everywhere people are talking about coexistence in our beloved homeland.
Marking the holy month, Ramadan, iftar banquets (banquets held to mark breaking of fasting period) have been numerous as they undoubtedly express the firm bonds of social fabric in the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan under the wise Hashemite leadership. Among the most impressive iftar banquets was the one held at Our Lady of Peace Center for those with special needs—an event the Center continues to hold since its establishment more than 10 years ago.
The essence of iftar is to remember those who suffer, the poor and the weak. This motive is more important than the banquets themselves--despite the fact that such gatherings also include rich, influential and notable people who play key roles in Jordanian society— as they are designed to cement brotherly relations among the faithful.
Unfortunately, Ramadan coincided this year with one of the bleakest periods ever known in the history of the Arab nation: Divisions have erupted while the terrible forces of bigotry, intolerance and fanaticism have been unleashed. Anything that is different has been rejected. In fraternal Arab countries such as Syria, Iraq, Egypt, Yemen, and Libya ,destruction and displacement are exploding to worrying levels.
In Jordan, we thank God for the prevailing security and stability. Relations between the followers of Christianity and Islam are firmly based on intellectual, cultural and civilized grounds that support citizenry and constitutional equality. However, some are regrettably engaged in superficial expressions, including demagoguery and ‘gossamer fluff’ that have nothing to do with genuine affection, dialogue and brotherhood.
Some websites provide recent examples:
First: The Muslim call to evening prayer was made at one of the churches. At the time when we pay tribute to the priest and the parishioners, we stress that media outlets posted a wrong news item which states that the call to prayer was made inside the church. This news item went viral as it was disseminated by the public, particularly via Facebook, saying, "This is Jordan, a country of coexistence". The truth is that the call to evening prayer was made in the church "yard" and not "inside the church proper" as Facebook pages reported.
Furthermore, exaggeration should not be made at a time when genuine affection and brotherhood are based on respecting and abstaining from crossing our acknowledged “red lines.” Christian prayers are neither held in mosques nor are Muslim prayers held in churches. It is preposterous to allow a decline in common courtesies to the point of confusion between religions. A sober, just and safe society respects the sanctity of churches and mosques alike and does not confuse religions.
This is what makes pluralism sublime as it is based on diversity and mutual respect. Doesn't history applaud the behavior of Omar bin Al Khattab who had refused to pray at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher as he did pray in its neighborhood? Don't we always praise the rules that recognize the presence of the other party and the right to practice religious rites in the assigned places? So why do electronic media outlets state that the call to prayer was held in a church, which actually neither happened nor is allowed to happen. Christian prayers cannot be held in mosques nor can Muslim prayers in be held in churches.
Others caused the so-called a photo to go ‘viral’ of a "bridesmaid wearing the hijab (veil) at a wedding" and entering a church with her friends. This issue was applauded as if it were one of the wonders of the world.
The photo, frankly, is not from Jordan but from another Arab country and is two years old. We just want to underline an already well established fact. Does our Christian daughter seek a Muslim woman to attend her wedding to show that all is well? This situation is rather normal.
Second: Websites are inundated with news and photos about a Muslim notable asking a Christian family for their daughter’s hand in marriage. The request was approved, they drank coffee and the girl agreed to change her religion to fulfill marriage requirements. Then, verses from the Bible and the Koran were recited, and the news spread that our country is the country of tolerance, equality and coexistence…
A girl changes her religion and her hand is asked in marriage from her "Armenian" father who does not live in Jerash but has a farm there. A leading figure ( a depute) said: "The matter was very easy and we ate sweets"…
This is good, but had it been better in the first place to respect the feelings of people in this holy month and think for a while about Jordan that has received thousands of displaced Iraqis from Mosul resulting from the oppressive measures by "terrorists" who attacked their churches, homes and children? It would have been better to respect the religious feelings of their sons and daughters instead of forcing one of their girls to change her religion and to show it online as some sort of display that such an event as acceptable to the citizens.
Addressing this thorny issue of marriage between Christians and Muslims, I would say that the family is a red line in our Jordanian society and in our Arab societies for one simple reason: Muslims have a right which Christians are deprived of: Who can change the Shari'a (Islamic law) and enable a Christian man to ask the hand of a Muslim woman in marriage?
So long that this matter is possible in Islam, it is also impossible in Christianity. So long as marriage between a Muslim woman to a Christian man is not permissible, while marriage between a Christian woman and a Muslim man is approved, then this is viewed as a belittlement towards the Christians. We are familiar with the tragedies caused by such cases in our society and in every Arab society.
In this vein, another issue arises; namely, the freedom of religion which implies the freedom of conscience. By this I mean, allowing individuals the personal choice to espouse a faith rather than having it dictated by society. In other words, it implies allowing individuals to make their own choice of the religion they wish to follow by allowing them to convert from Islam to Christianity and vice versa according to their convictions. This is neither possible in our Jordanian society nor in our Arab countries. Thus, Christians and Muslims both face red lines. While we await a time in the future when individuals, men and women, can freely make their own decisions of personal conviction rather than that of the society, it is inevitable at present to respect the rules of religions, in both Islam and Christianity, as well as social traditions.
This may not be viewed as a superficial courtesy. Such identification is governed by the laws and dictates of Islam and Christianity rather than courtesies or good intentions. If a violation takes place without the occurrence of a tragedy, we thank God and feel grieved for someone who changes religion without conviction or for having "espoused a religion without conviction". Furthermore, if a tragedy takes place and this is likely, then people resorting to logic from both sides play a role in defusing tension.
That is why it is important to refer once again to the instructions of the Chief Islamic Justice Ahmad Hilayel provided a few months ago. They state that it is not acceptable for a Christian to convert to Islam for superficial reasons, such as marriage, without the conversion stemming from personal conviction. Such a practice serves as an infringement of the laws relevant to religion as was endorsed by the highest religious authority in the Kingdom.
I believe that the issues that unite us in this homeland are far more than those which divide us. We have a wise leadership represented by His Majesty the King, a noble and enlightened people, and a history full of common events.
We do not need superficial assertions stating that we are in good shape and that our society will remain the most positively influential in the region, or rather in the world.
Instead it’s best to focus on worthy issues that must be tackled, such the need to introduce changes into the school curricula, now an overwhelming public demand. Failure to mention our common history and the sublime religious pluralism in our society neither serves societal peace nor firmly-rooted religious coexistence.
Also, a better course of action for the notables making their way to the "farm of the Armenian” in Jerash or for those who welcomed them—I do not think that any of the girl's relatives were present—would have been to put into practice "The Amman Message" and the "Common Word Between Us and You". Both important documents stress exactly the opposite action of what took place, namely mutual respect.
We live in a safe country based on respect for all and the regard as one family. Through genuine affection and mutual respect, encouraging strong personalities that respect religions despite differences, and applying "the Amman Message" and the "Common Word Between Us and You", we will be able to boost ordan's cordiality, security and safety.
